In the previous post, I had referred to my young friend's e-mail on a new School. He has now sent me the mail.. I should reproduce it here as the source of inspiration to the immediately precceding post.
National Corruption Institute Of India (NCII)
[Affiliated To Indian Parliament]
Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World’s Best C-School
Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption (BC).
Earn your BC from the World’s Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies
OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:-
Financial Theory and Practice
Transfer of funds through HAWALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like ‘Chai Pani’, ‘Parcel’, ‘Change’, ‘Gift Box’ , ‘Color TV’, ‘Foreign Trip’ and the ever popular ‘Children’s School Fees’
Public Relations (PR) and Media Management
Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY .Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Tewari and Professor Prasad.
Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.
Learn the art of proving all allegations as “BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”
Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.
Law and Order Module:
Efficient MURDER and RAPE
Keeping POLICE under control
Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.
Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don’t get arrested in the first place!
FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures by visiting Professors Shabudin and Pappu!
Advanced Riotology
Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.
Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS
Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.
‘2G SPECTRUM – A Telecommunications Perspective’ By Professor Raja
‘Flat Taking From Army Jawan’ By Professor A Chavan
‘Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal’ By Professor Kalmadi
‘Application of Corruption on Non Human Species – Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder’ By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav
‘Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money That Building The Taj Mahal Itself’ By Professor Mayawati Kumari.
SO FORGET B-SCHOOL! BE COOL JOIN C-SCHOOL.
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